“The gold you see in me, is the gold you must mine in you.” – Karen Leverenz.
What has inspired you from the beginning of your journey? What have your interests always been?
For me it is teaching and dispersing information of value.
When I started learning online, I followed Mindvalley, The Shift Network, I attended various online learning summits (such as the Hay House), and I followed various mentors who taught or had schools online.
One thing that held me back last year, was waiting for a mentor to ‘pick me’ – give me permission to teach.
In my brief career as a primary school teacher I spent one (soul-destroying) summer going to 30 job interviews and wishing for a contract in an industry flooded with teachers. I never got picked. I realised that just like back then, I was waiting for permission to start teaching (and re-experiencing the rejection of not being picked).
All I ever wanted to do was make a difference.
During my brief career as a relief teacher, I did not enjoy seeing kids for six hours and teaching them pre-prepared lessons. I felt like a robot doing something that I didn’t want to do, for the lure of money. I can still hear family members tempting me to go back to relief teaching and get paid a few hundred dollars for ‘babysitting’.
In my dream life, I create engaging lessons that impact my students, whilst making learning fun! I am proud of the science module I taught in my teaching practicum, and the words of thanks I got from those students. I am proud of the filmmaking skills I taught in an after-school program I taught for disengaged kids. These are the moments that stand out in my short-lived professional teaching career. When I got to teach what I wanted to teach, and how.
It hit me one day while watching a woman teach online, that if I could teach science (something I had little passion for) to a grade six class and make it awesome, then why was I holding myself back from teaching the stuff I am super passionate about, the stuff I was born to teach?
I remember my year twelve politics teacher (whose passion for the political system ignited my own passion for politics and teaching), because he made me see the value of loving what you teach.
When I put my hand up and said ‘I’m ready to teach’ in some online schools, no-one wanted me. I got a big fat ‘this is an exclusive club’ (who are you?) door slammed in my face.
This triggered a memory of those competitive school environments I had trained in, where the team teachers would work together, but when a relief teacher came, they would shut the open-learning classroom door, and they would make it known their real philosophy, ‘each to their own’. What did this teach the kids? Scarcity. Competition. Mean girls. No wonder the kids were like they were, they were told to do one thing and modelled another.
Even back then, I prayed for a cooperative teaching environment to end up in. A place we could all just help one another and not be in competition for our jobs. My notion that teachers are perfect was smashed and I knew this was because of the competitive environment that the relationships did not thrive.
I think of the ‘about me’ of my website, where I claim what I have always known, “I was born a fairy for a reason, I was born to start a fairy school and teach fairies to fly and be proud of their fairy wings” (or something like that). I cried poor me to the Universe when I never ‘got picked’, but I had always stated that I would be the principal of my own school! I had not written ‘I was born to teach for the king (or the queen) of the fairies’, so why was I looking for a king (or a queen) to grant me permission to share my message into the world? Why did I need someone I admire to see the value that I knew was inside of me (insert worthiness here)?
I had a revelation-
We all know the irony that when we stop looking for love, it falls in our lap. When we are finally happy on our own, our soulmate partner appears, why did I think it was any different in business? I needed to stop waiting to be chosen and chose myself. I needed to be happy doing my thing, writing and teaching what I was born to write and teach, for no external reward, for no-one but me. And then I’d be flying. And then I could teach the fairies to fly.
As a spiritual teacher I never wanted to pretend I had all the knowledge. When I started my Facebook group Spiritual Lightworkers of the World, my biggest resistance was to the responsibility that I would have, to come up with all the content. When I released the need for it all to be about me and my teachings (egoic much?), it flowed and the content to be shared, came to me with ease. When I released the need to be the expert and I just shared all the best spiritual teachings I came across with my tribe, it became easy, and even fun. I was a spiritual DJ playing all the good tunes instead of having to be the producer with one or two great tracks in every album (although some artists who work from their higher purpose have no bad tracks and that is the kind of writer I aspire to be)!
How does my story help you?
Where are you seeking permission from someone you admire to shine? Stop. Give yourself permission. Create your own light.
Where are you living with a scarcity mindset or creating an environment of competition, rather than of cooperation? Remember, “a rising tide lifts all boats“, says author Sage Lavine.
Where can you let go of the need to pretend you came up with all the knowledge? Most ideas have been had, but not all stories have been told. Has your story been told yet?
My dream world is a world in which we all just share the best of the best Teachings of the Light with each other. We all have our basic needs met so that we can all thrive (and not create these competitive environments).
I believe in myself and in my dreams. Do you believe in your own power and potential?
Remember – you are the divine being that makes the grass greener xx
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